Things I hate about Steven Kloves
by akaccino
Summary: [RambleRant]This this a list of things that I particularly dislike about Steven Kloves. And for people that don't know who he is, he's the script writer for Harry Potter.


Hey guys! I do not dislike the Harry Potter movies, but I do not particularly enjoy them. I really hate the script. Who does Hermione think she is, stealing Ron's lines like that? Well, it's not her fault, STEVEN KLOVES! Here we go,

Things I hate about Steven Kloves:

Why didn't Harry get in trouble at the beginning of the movie for performing magic to read is schoolbooks?

Steve Kloves, do you make Hermione have super powers in the third movie? I mean, Hermione is superwoman! She suddenly is punching people INSTEAD OF SLAPPING THEM! Hello??? And, she can now hold a what- 130 pound thirteen year old by his shirt while managing to keep her grip onto a jerking, thrashing, and deadly tree. Oh, and don't forget she let go at the exact time so that Harry lands in the hole of the Whomping Willow! I wonder how much she can bench-press!

Thank you so much Steve for making Ron look like he did not even care about Scabbers. I mean, is Ron that irresponsible to leave Scabbers at home so that Mrs. Weasley has to catch up to the train, give Ron Scabbers, and warn him not to lose him? In the book, did Ron not go to the Magical Menagerie to get Scabbers his rat tonic? Why would Ron waste his money if he didn't even care about him? And you never show Crookshanks attacking Scabbers! Not once! I think I've read…about four attacks in the book. Oh, and thanks a bunch for not showing Hermione getting Crookshanks. I wouldn't mind, but Steve, your acting as if it's not Hermione's fault! I mean, Hermione was the one who got Crookshanks even when she knew that Ron had Scabbers. So thanks you very much, Steven!

'Does my hair really look like that from the back?' What. The. Hell.

I did not know that Dementors could fly! During the Quidditch match they're just flying around minding their own business and then the famous Harry Potter comes and ruins it by flying straight into their party their having! How rude!

_I believe I can fly...!_

How did Harry play his final match when he crashed his Nimbus 2000 and did not get his Firebolt until the end of the movie? WOW! Harry can fly like the Dementors! Golly gee willicures! And the ending, wow! Harry! I loved to see your smudged face all over the screen! I positively love the fact that you do not care about your reputation because rubbing your saliva all over the screen, it's flushing down the toilet!

How did Harry manage to cast such an advanced spell, such as the Patronus, on his- what was it- second try?

"WAIT! P-professor?" Wow Hermione, snapping a werewolf out of his full-moon state back into a human...by _asking _if it's still Lupin I like Hermione in the books, Steve, but you make me despise her in the movies. She's so stupid. She tries to distract a werewolf by howling. Hm…I wonder what the werewolf is going to do. Let us take a survey!

A) Go charging toward them, capable of decapitating them.

B) See the error of his ways and make a heartfelt apology to everyone he has ever hurt.

C) Get distracted long enough for Hermione to form a group of werewolf fighting ninjas.

D) Get together a choir of werewolves and howl at the moon.

Now personally I think the answer is C because this movie is _obviously_ all about her. Why not call it, 'Hermione Granger and the Prisoner of Azkaban?' I'm sure Harry will appreciate it.

Why does Ron need crutches at the end of the movie? Can't Madam Pomfry mend broken bones in seconds? Also, this is somewhat shallow, Steve. I know Ron's poor and all, but he couldn't afford _two _crutches when he broke his leg? He only has one. One.

_God bless us, everyone!_

WHERE DID THAT SHRUNKEN HEAD COME FROM? AND WHY'S HE ON THE KNIGHT BUS?

_Hey, guys, why the long faces? _How lame.

Cedric is the man, man! His up in the top favorite HP cast, with Hermione of course. Dude! Cedric can be electrocuted and then manage to get the Snitch! Is he riding a metal broom? -wags finger- You know that's against the rules, Ceddykins, otherwise the Dementors wouldn't have to fly anymore.

So…Steve…you cut out the scene when Ron almost gets killed by Sirius Black and replace it with stupid scenes such as that stupid Whomping Willow with the bird...wow...-shakes head slowly...-

In conclusion, Steve, thank you for the movie script, but no thank you. Next time you would like to write a movie script, please do not base it on a book.

It's a little harsh I know, but everyone's thinking it! I'm just saying it. I think this is somewhat amusing…please don't leave angry reviews if you like Hermione's role in the movie. I love Ron so that's why I'm so displeased with her. Review please!

akaccino


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